On COVID-19, Flexibility and Compassion

We share this thoughtful blog by EOLCCA Board member Fran Johns, a prolific thinker and writer. While much has changed in the mere 11 days since she wrote this piece, we wanted to share her calming perspective as we go about the hard work of isolating ourselves physically from our normal way of living.  This is also a gentle reminder to all, that EOLCCA volunteers stand ready and available to continue responding to terminally ill individuals and their families seeking information and support to determine their own end of life choices even as this pandemic has altered so much in our daily lives.  Many of those whom we can continue to help during this pandemic are suffering from unrelated end stage cancer and neurodegenerative diagnoses with a 6 months prognosis and need our help now. 

We can be reached at 760-636-8009 or email info@endoflifechoicesca.org. We are here for you.


I don’t know about your neighborhood, but Covid-19 is making life interesting here in the San Francisco Bay Area. Difficult for many, devastating for some, and interesting for the rest of us. As of this writing (I recommend the CDC site for accurate data on other areas, other updates) we have sped past the first hundred confirmed cases in the state, and who knows how many of the 10,000+ Californians in self-quarantine are also my Bay Area neighbors.

This little virus brings with it a large bunch of life lessons. Some of them are shared here, as a public service.

First off (I hate to bring politics ever into this space, but what can you do?) if you ever believed anything said by our commander in chief, this is a good time to mend your ways. Covid-19 is not a Democrat hoax, it is not going to disappear in a short time, you really shouldn’t go to work if you’re sick, a vaccine is at best many months away, and good luck finding those test kits that anybody who wants can get. This is only a life lesson in the sense that, in today’s crazy information-overload reality, Truth is hard to find. So, Life Lesson #1: Seek Truth. Read several newspapers if you still read news. Otherwise, visit the CDC site and scroll through more than one mainstream news source, please; do not believe Facebook will give you Truth. Watch PBS and occasionally Fox News; if one disseminates truth, the other reinforces your neighbor’s version of truth – and we’re all in this together.    Covid-19 greenie

Other life lessons are happier, and equally easy to learn. For instance, at my church we very quickly learned to replace hugs and handshakes with fist bumps and peace signs. Not as much fun, but whatever. The ushers are equipped with bulletins and hand-sanitizer. Choir members last Sunday spaced themselves three feet apart, which looked rather elegant – but they sounded the same, i.e. gorgeous. We also learned translations of the word Covid into Hebrew and Yiddish, which I have already forgotten, and which doesn’t matter anyway since the name was chosen by the World Health Organization thusly: Co and Vi come from coronavirus, D stands for disease and 19 (as in 2019) = the year the first cases were seen. To connect all this: I belong to a Presbyterian church that is heavy into hugs, scientific truth and interfaith understanding.

As to flexibility, this viral pandemic is teaching us, wisely, not to be so rigid about stuff. I was dismayed when the San Francisco Symphony cancelled a concert on my regular series that I really wanted to hear; and the political roundtable at the Commonwealth Club, a favorite regular program at which I always volunteer, similarly disappeared. But symphony season will resume in good time, and do we really need to talk politics late into the evening when it invariably produces nightmares? Sleep is better. That long-planned trip to Tucson in a couple of weeks? Probably not the wisest thing for my octogenarian cardiovascular system. Purpose of trip, however, was to join my daughter for a visit with a childhood friend of hers (whose mother, lost to cancer decades ago, was a good friend of mine) – and they can definitely have a ball without me.

So take deep breaths and wash your hands. We and the planet will survive in good time.

Moon & clouds

Death Cafe

Death Café HostLynne Calkins, founding board member of End of Life Choices California

Death Café provides a safe, agenda-free place to discuss death and life over a cup of tea and tasty treats.
It is not a grief therapy group. It is a gathering of friendly and interesting people discussing death, dying and living.
Our motto: “Breathing Life into Death”

All are Welcome.
Bring an open mind, an open heart, and your curiosity.
RSVP – If you’d like to attend, email Lynne at lcalkins@endoflifechoicesca.org, “Death Cafe” in the subject line.
Please give the full name of each person attending.
Death Cafés have been wait-listed in the past, so RSVP is advised.
For questions or to learn more, call Lynne at 760.402.0325

Physician-Assisted Suicide…. Not!

  1. Every day my Google Alerts send me interesting articles about death and dying.  Some I read, some I pass by, but this one caught my eye. A medical student wrote a piece about the medical practice of “physician-assisted suicide” as a collaborative process.  While he said some interesting and powerful things, I was deeply compelled to provide information to him, and to his readers on kevinmd.com that the term “physician-assisted suicide” is incorrect. 

The following is my response to his article:

“I applaud Mr. La, an aspiring medical professional, for shining a light on medical aid in dying (MAID) in his recent article “Physician Assisted Suicide is a Collaborative Process”.  As he points out, MAID is becoming more available as states are increasingly legalizing the process. It is, in fact, a growing movement in our country that offers a humane and dignified death to those people in permissive states who are terminally ill, suffering, and wish to have a say in how they die. However, having attended many deaths as a volunteer with End of Life Choices California, and as a retired physician, I can attest that these individuals are clearly not suicidal, which we know to be a mental health issue where someone is choosing to die who could otherwise live. These brave people who choose medical aid in dying would give anything to keep living, but a debilitating, painful and terminal disease is taking their lives. They are simply choosing to end that life in a quiet and peaceful way, usually at home, surrounded by loved ones.  

Mr. La’s unfortunate use of “physician-assisted suicide” is outdated verbiage that is primarily used by people who are opposed to MAID.  However, I do not believe that he is taking a stance in opposition to MAID in his article nor condoning the practice as suicide. The laws that have been passed in each state are all very clear on this very issue.

For example, in my home state of California, the End of Life Option Act, Assembly Bill 15, is very clear that medical aid in dying is NOT suicide, euthanasia or any other term that blames the patient.  Medical aid in dying is a determined and seriously considered choice, with significant steps and oversight which must be applied to keep the law from being abused. The bill states that “nothing in its provisions is to be construed to authorize ending a patient’s life by lethal injection, mercy killing, or active euthanasia, and would provide that, action taken in accordance with the act shall not constitute, among other things, suicide or homicide.”

Another critical point to note is that pursuant to Section 443.18 of the bill, “death resulting from the self-administration of an aid-in-dying drug is not suicide, and therefore health and insurance coverage shall not be exempted on that basis.” Section 443.18 goes on to say “Nothing in this part may be construed to authorize a physician or any other person to end an individual’s life by lethal injection, mercy killing, or active euthanasia. Actions taken in accordance with this part shall not, for any purposes, constitute suicide, assisted suicide, homicide, or elder abuse under the law.”

If interested, one can read the specifics of the law here.

It is our hope, as a California nonprofit committed to providing information and personal support to people seeking answers at the end of their lives, that physicians will continue to educate themselves and become more willing to provide this important medical service to their patients at one of the most significant times of their lives. I believe it is the ultimate in patient abandonment not to do so.  If you are a physician wishing to learn more about MAID, please contact us at info@endoflifechoicesca.org and we will put you in contact with physicians who do prescribe MAID and would be happy to share their experience. 

Dr. Judy Neall Epstein
Founding Director, President
End of Life Choices California


End of Life Choices California offers information and non-judgemental personal support to anyone seeking help managing end-of-life care planning or decision-making in California.  Please visit www.endoflifechoicesca.org.  To speak with one of our volunteers, please call 760-636-8009 or email us at info@endoflifechoicesca.org.  All our services are free of charge.

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