by Fran Johns
“You are part of our family now,” wrote one client’s daughter to volunteer and Board Member Sue Gess, summing up the heart of the work we do.“Thank you for being with us today, for helping to make his last moments so peaceful. . . blessing him to depart on his own terms and his own time. You even brought his favorite sorbet!”
Acknowledgments received by our volunteers are often poignant, sometimes surprising, frequently filled with wisdom and gratitude. We thought a good way to start the new year would be to share excerpts from some of these notes and emails, along with comments from a few of our volunteers.
Such as: “I appreciate your reaching out to me this afternoon. It was such a noble act.”
Being of Help
Our volunteers come from all walks of life, some with medical backgrounds and many simply because they are drawn to helping others. Some give talks to community groups, attend health fairs, or represent EOLCCA in a variety of ways. Almost all will say that knowing they’ve been of help – whether it’s giving information to someone who asks or holding the hand of a beloved client as he or she transitions from this life – is the biggest reward.
After volunteers Lois Perry and Jennifer Coe attended a death, they received this note: “You were both wonderful; I was so happy to have you there and have Bob tell you about his life. You were comforting, and the service you offer is truly an amazing gift for anyone in our situation. I’m still pretty numb but have my tearful moments. Many, many thanks.”
“Mom was able to access the medication and passed in May. It was really, really hard (and still is,)” another client wrote Sue Gess, “but I’m so grateful she didn’t have to suffer any more and it’s because of you and your organization. You are. . . doing wonderful work to help others. Thank you for everything you do.”
Peaceful
EOLCCA founding board member Lynne Calkins tells of joining another volunteer to take a local high school teacher and his wife to dinner to express their own gratitude for producing a short video describing his dad’s use of medical aid in dying (MAiD). “We were at the bedside with him that day,” Calkins recalls.
He told us: “My dad’s death was as peaceful and beautiful as it could possibly be.” And now, he wants to volunteer with us after he retires next June.
Volunteers Judith Bishop and Stewart Florsheim attended the death of a man whose only remaining family member (his brother) lived on the east coast, and could not come out to California. The brother requested a FaceTime call with our client before he took his medication. It was a beautiful, tearful call with the brother, his wife, and his son. The brother was extremely grateful for our support.
“Your organization provides an amazing, much needed service. I plan to make a donation in tribute to the volunteers who helped my brother and family, and to honor the important work you do.“
Bereavement Group
Guiding families through their grieving is another important volunteer service, with the EOLCCA Bereavement Group here to support those who request it. As with survivors of any loss, grieving for someone who chose MAiD is unique to anyone, and complicated.
“Thank you for your supportive response,” one client wrote our Bereavement Group
coordinator, volunteer Mary Abbott. “You accurately described exactly how some of our family is feeling, as well as the problem of our not having had a safe place to discuss the end of our journey. We have never known anyone who experienced the loss of a loved one using MAiD. I’m very interested in joining the Bereavement Group.”
You’ve Taken Care of Us
Asked for a meaningful story she might share, volunteer Fern Ebeling said “I recently had the privilege of attending my first MAiD death completely on my own. Of course I was a bit nervous – not because of the task at hand but rather in fear of something ‘going wrong.’ Nothing went wrong! In fact, everything went as smoothly as it possibly could have. The client’s daughter turned to me after her father had passed and said, “I don’t know what we would have done without you. My brother and I were so scared.” And after Fern said she would properly dispose of some leftover medication that the two siblings were worried about, they had one more grateful response.
“You’ve taken care of us so completely.”
Our Mission
At End of Life Choices California, our mission is to support you and your loved ones during your end-of-life journey. Let us know how we can help you by calling us at 760-636-8009 or by requesting information and support online.
About the Author
A lifelong newspaper and magazine writer, EOLCCA Board Member Fran Moreland Johns has published fiction, nonfiction, and several books. Her focus on end-of-life issues includes many volunteer years, numerous articles and one book, Dying Unafraid. She holds a BA from Randolph-Macon Woman’s College and an MFA from the University of San Francisco, and currently writes on Medium.com, franjohns.net, and on Substack at franmorelandjohns.