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Making COVID Lemonade


As I contemplate life on my porch in late-May 2020, I feel many different emotions.

 

As a nursing home and hospice physician, I mostly feel sad that so many of the people I care for are dying—often without the basic comfort of a family member at the bedside. I also feel concerned and sympathetic for those whose lives have been—and will continue to be—devastated by either the loss of a loved one or the loss of their jobs, mortgages, businesses, and the familiarity and comfort of ordinary life, which may never be restored.

I feel guilty that my dogs, who used to accompany me to work in the nursing homes every day, are not allowed to go with me now for obvious reasons. I am angry at the lack of a defined, dedicated response from our government to protect these precious vulnerable elders. I am distressed by the polarization of our population, the venom that is spouted based on political differences, the baffling anti-science movement, the baffling politicization of things seemingly as neutral as a drug, and the seeming irrelevance to some people of facts. And although we keep hearing this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint, I have the sense we are not far out of the starting gate, I already feel exhausted. With Zoom meetings all day, nonstop news coverage, and a constant stream of new information in the scientific literature, it seems like it’s all-COVID, all the time. And I feel a little guilty that for my family and me, this pandemic is mostly an inconvenience and not something that will wreck our world or create an enduring hardship.
lemonade

I am an Optimist

At the same time, as an optimist, I am trying to make lemonade out of all this. What might we gain from this pandemic? There are obvious tangible gifts, like the favorable impact on the environment. People have learned the importance of handwashing and how to do it correctly. The “great pause” has given people the chance to take stock, reflect, hold space, and perhaps appreciate some of the small things we usually take for granted. We have learned how to use digital technology more widely for virtual doctor visits—even palliative care visits and end-of-life advance care planning discussions—and for professional meetings, webinars, town hall meetings, and the like. When we are practicing social distancing, it is clearly a blessing to be able to commune with others even without the actual physical hugs and handshakes (which may become a thing of the past, sadly). Support groups like 12-step meetings (AA, NA, etc.) now have a large online presence that is invaluable for those practicing recovery from addictions. For health care professionals, online support for burnout is also available.

We have also seen a huge outpouring of charitable work of all kinds, and the heroic contribution of first responders and healthcare workers, who put their own health on the line in service to others—like the certified nursing assistants who work for close to minimum-wage salaries, doing the backbreaking but essential work of providing direct care to debilitated, frail, dependent elders and other chronically disabled individuals. Now more than ever, their efforts should be appreciated and celebrated. 

Advance Care Planning

And during this time when we have more family time (either in-person or virtual), and when people of all ages are dying of this virus, I know more families have taken advantage of the down time to reminisce about loved ones who have already died and to discuss their own beliefs, treatment preferences and what is really important to them. It is the perfect storm for advance care planning! There are many online resources to help families broach these subjects and have deep, meaningful and often healing conversations. With its devastating pulmonary effects, COVID has helped make discussion of intubation and mechanical ventilation more of a household subject. I’ve had multiple conversations with nursing home residents about their treatment preferences, and some of them now say, “If I got the coronavirus, I would not want to be put on a ventilator.”

lemonade

These are difficult times, and this is a cruel pandemic in many aspects—and we will continue to suffer the direct and indirect consequences for a long time to come. But over time, as the dust settles, I am confident that we will have learned some lessons and will come out of it changed for the better in many ways. Let’s be kind to one another, tell our loved ones we love them, we forgive them, we ask their forgiveness, and we treasure our relationships with them.

That is certainly a half-full glass of lemonade, right?  We will get through this together.


Karl Steinberg, MD, CMD, HMDC

Dr. Steinberg has been a hospice and nursing home medical director in the San Diego area since 1995.  He is president-elect of AMDA – The Society for Post-Acute and Long-Term Care Medicine, a past chair of the Coalition for Compassionate Care of California and past president of the California Association of Long-Term Care Medicine.  He is vice president of National POLST and sits on the National Quality Forum’s Geriatrics and Palliative Care Standing Committee, is a certified healthcare ethics consultant, nursing home medical director and hospice medical director.

We appreciate working with Dr. Steinberg on end-of-life care issues and look forward to our continued partnership with the San Diego Coalition for Compassionate Care.  (Dr. Steinberg is pictured above with his wonderful Tessa, Charlotte and Josie.)

Photography by Ghislaine Guerin and Chris Montgomery.

Reimagine San Francisco

Dying At Home: How To Plan & Prepare for a Home Death

Hosted by: Institute on AgingCompassion & ChoicesDeath Doula LAEnd of Life Choices-CA

RSVP here

Preparation around death & dying at home can be challenging & complex. Join our mindful panel of end-of-life experts as they share perspectives, options & resources supporting the home death option.

In times past, it was not unusual to die in a place that was both comforting and familiar: Home.

Nowadays, we are faced with increased medical interventions and scenarios. Conversations & planning around death and dying in general can feel challenging and complex. Medical, physical, emotional, physical, legal, & spiritual issues may become heightened and overwhelming. However, with the right support and plans we still have the opportunity to prepare for a good death, and in the setting of our choice. Education and care can assist in better outcomes overall, and support the grieving process of both the dying and the living.

Join our mindful panel of healthcare-based, end-of-life experts who will share perspectives, communication tools, laws, resources and funeral options for home deaths. There will be time allotted for Q & A. This event is free of charge.

Facilitator: Stefanie Elkins, MA, Continuum of Care Coach & Consultant

Panelists:

  • Care Planning Conversations: Karen Morin, RN, Founding Director, Vice President of End of Life Choices California
  • End-of-life Options: Stephanie Marquet, MD, Palliative Care Physician & Advisor, Compassion & Choices Medical Advocate
  • Home Funeral Guidance: Jill Schock, Clinical Chaplain, End of Life Advocate, Death Doula LA

Wine & Cheese Get-together in San Marcos

Topic: Please join an informal conversation about the importance of end-of-life planning.  Learn about formulating your own end-of-life choices, deciding what is best for you, things to consider when choosing a hospice provider, and communicating your end-of-life wishes to your family, physicians and caregivers.
Hosts: Lisa Klinger and Judith Schnack, End of Life Choices California
To RSVP email us by August 20 with your name and your guests at: info@endoflifechoicesca.org. Thank you!