By Fran Johns
It takes a village to navigate life. To end it best, it takes a team. Recently I had the privilege, and delight, of being on the team that saw a good life to its peaceful end.
Former State Senator Mark Leno, known to Californians for his long and distinguished public service career, had been spending time with an elderly friend in an assisted living facility whose health had taken a turn for the worse. One day, speaking of his increasing pain, Joe – his name and other details are changed to protect his privacy – told Leno he “thought he’d just slit his wrists.”
Alarm bells rang in Mark’s head. Though he had been instrumental in helping get the CA End of Life Option Law passed when he was in the legislature, and is a supporter of EOLCCA, he wasn’t sure of what to do next. Joe’s closest relative was a nephew thousands of miles away.
Mark, a longtime friend of mine, called to talk it over, and I agreed that Joe shouldn’t be trying to slit his wrists. Although he had been on hospice for many weeks, no one had talked with him about medical aid in dying (MAiD) or his legal right to consider this choice. After I explained a little of what might best be done next, Mark called the nephew, who flew to San Francisco. He went over the options with Joe, who expressed grateful wishes to use MAiD.
Joe’s hospice, as it turned out, was cooperative – but would not prescribe the medication. They would start the process by helping Joe make the first request, and arrange for his first meeting with a physician to determine his competency. This was on a Saturday; Joe wanted to end his life a week from the following Tuesday.
A few days later I had flown from San Francisco to San Diego for a visit with friends, including several EOLCCA colleagues. Mark called to say they’d hit a snag and ask what should be done next. It was about 11:30 in the morning. I was beginning to explain to him that my volunteer training was rusty and I needed to call in someone better able to address the multiple issues when there was a knock on my hotel room door.
Joe’s hospice, as it turned out, was cooperative – but would not prescribe the medication.
“I’m putting you on speaker phone,” I told Mark. “The person we need most, because she knows it all, just walked in.” The three of us then discussed next steps, and founding board member Lynne Calkins advised Mark about what he needed to do. Lynne and I promised we’d get back to him that afternoon and ended the call.
“We just need the right person in San Francisco,” Lynne and I mused. That would be, we agreed, volunteer Judith Bishop, who handles the EOLCCA phone line one day a week and has recently attended more than one MAiD death.
Lynne Calkins, (left) and Judith Bishop, (right).
We found Judith on Market Street, getting ready to board a BART train for an appointment. Again, a three-way conversation ensued and we were able to come up with solutions to most elements of the current snag in Joe’s journey. Just not quite all.
“But you know, the person who could pull all the strings together is Robert Brody (teaching physician/ethicist and current EOLCCA board chair,)” Judith said. We all emphatically agreed. While it’s true that this is often the case, fellow volunteers do try not to overwhelm the very busy Dr. Brody unless there’s no other option. There was, we agreed, no other option. Judith got on the BART train; I texted Bob and asked him to call.
“I’ve had a great life. I’ve traveled, I’ve loved, I’ve had good friends.”
After all of approximately eight minutes my cellphone rang; it was Bob, apologizing for taking so long to get back to me. Again, there was a three-way conversation in which Lynne and I outlined the details and the glitch. Bob thought for a moment and then said, “Do you mind if I call Mark?’
Did we mind? I repeated, but only to myself.
I gave Mark’s phone number to Bob, and Lynne and I went to a late lunch. Bob spoke at length with him, and a few others, and all was set right.
On the following Tuesday, Joe said to his family and friends, “I’ve had a great life. I’ve traveled, I’ve loved, I’ve had good friends.” Then he had the peaceful death he had sought.